During a recent coaching call, my client and I were doing our normal check-in to determine how they were doing with their growth edges or personal development.
The Danger of Mistrust
One thing kept coming back up as it related to their journaling around work/life attitudes and perception…a feeling of distrust for those at work and in particular, the leader. After gaining clarity around the possible systemic cause or personal experiences which led to the distrust, it became apparent that it was related to incongruence and the leader’s perceived disregard for the employees well-being.
When Trust Is Gone
In effect, trust had vacated the premises and the staff was in reactionary mode when it came to new initiatives or missional objectives being carried out. After working with my client to understand the value of trusting themselves first before they can release trust to others, a light bulb went on in their thought processes.
Trust and Vulnerability
You see, if you engage in preemptive trust (i.e., “they” have to earn your trust before you can trust them!) then you will always look for a reason not to place belief in someone else…you really have given them power over you at this point of the professional or personal relationship.
Home of Origin Issues
The goal is to be open and vulnerable as you engage the relationship while creating a better understanding around beliefs, attitudes and intentions of those you are working with as you go forward. Now, this is not going to be easy because we all have what I like to describe as “home of origin issues” or things that have happened to us over the years that inform our thinking around other peoples’ behaviors or actions toward us.
The Speed of Trust
In the book, “The Speed of Trust” Stephen M.R. Covey offers keen insight into the value of trust and the vital importance it provides for organizational functioning. He shares that relationships that lack trust trust are draining and ultimately lead to diminished productivity, conflict and decreased efficiency. At the end of the day, it is the leader’s responsibility to make sure that trust is alive and well in the organization. If the presence of trust is missing, then I submit to you today, the leader must press the pause button and begin the process of righting the ship or finding out the catalyst for the mistrust if the organization is going to go forward with any level of long-term success.
Point of Clarity Quote:
“I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves and tell me, ‘I love you.’ … There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.”
― Maya Angelou